Mitundu 10 ya okondedwa. Recidivist? Mtsikana woteteza moyo? Kapena kalonga ndi chule? Ndinu bwenzi lotani?

Mu relational psychology, malingana ndi chitsanzo chosankhidwa, tikhoza kuzindikira, kutchula ndi kufotokoza kuchokera kwa ochepa mpaka angapo a mitundu ya zibwenzi ndi maudindo omwe amawatenga paubwenzi womwe umawakhudza ndikudziwira momwe angawonekere. Phunzirani za mitundu 10 yodziwika bwino ya zibwenzi ndikupeza omwe inu ndi mzanu ndinu.

Kuwadziwa kudzakuthandizani kudziwa mtundu wanu ndi mtundu wa mnzanu (ngati muli nawo) ndipo, ngati kuli kofunikira, yambitsani njira yosinthira ku mtundu womwe mukufuna, chifukwa ngakhale izi sizingakhale zophweka, kusintha koteroko n'kotheka. - zimangotengera zida zoyenera ndi nthawi, mphotho ndiyofunika kandulo: ubale wathanzi, wokhwima komanso wachikondi.

Kuti malembawo azikhala ogwirizana komanso omveka bwino, ndilemba za abwenzi omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti abwenzi, koma adzagwira ntchito kwa amuna ndi akazi, chifukwa kufotokoza kwachitsanzo ndi chilengedwe chonse ndipo kumagwira ntchito kwa amuna ndi akazi.

I. Wokondedwa (mnzako)

Mtundu woyamba ndi bwenzi basi - wokhwima bwenzi amene salowa mu maudindo ena pa ubwenzi. Makhalidwe amtunduwu akhoza kugawidwa m'magulu awiri. Zomwe sachita muubwenzi ndi zomwe amachita:

1. Kodi sachita chiyani? Saphunzitsa mnzake pomuphunzitsa, kupereka upangiri wagolide, komanso kusamala kwambiri za iye. Iye si mwana wamkazi, ndiye kuti sapempha chilolezo, chivomerezo, chilolezo komanso sapempha chikondi. Iye si bwana - sapereka malamulo, ndipo samawona ubalewo ngati kusinthana kwa zabwino - zachuma, kugonana, makolo, ndi zina zotero. wophunzira (otsika); iyenso si mnzake wa mowa (asexual); kapena sisitere (yemwe amasamala za makhalidwe).
2. Kodi amachita chiyani ndipo ali paubwenzi ndani? Iye ndi mnzake wofanana, bwenzi ndi wokonda adagubuduzika kukhala m'modzi. Iye ndi wokoma mtima, wovomera, wochirikiza ndi wothandiza. Iye amanena zoona zivute zitani, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo amakhala wosamala. Samasulira zomwe wamva ndipo samawerenga malingaliro a mnzake, koma amafunsa kufotokozera. Imalongosola, imagogomezera zenizeni, ndipo imalankhula za zinthu zenizeni osati zachizoloŵezi. Amathetsa mavuto, osati kuwasesa pansi pa chiguduli. Saweruza mnzake, amangolankhula za khalidwe lake (m’malo mwakuti “sundikonda” amati “dzulo pamene unatuluka m’nyumba sunatsanzike, ndinamva chisoni”. Amalankhula za zosowa zake ndi malingaliro ake. Silikunena za m’mbuyo, likunena za masiku ano ndi zam’tsogolo. Timakonzekera limodzi ndi bwenzi. Amapewa kusuliza, kunyoza, kubwezera, miseche, kuwukira, kuchititsa manyazi ndi manyazi.

Chitsime: pixabay.com

II. Chasing Partner

Amafuna khalidwe linalake la kugonana kwa wokondedwa wake, ngati kuti ndi gawo la mgwirizano wosalembedwa, womwe ayenera kuchita mosavomerezeka nthawi iliyonse akafunsidwa kutero, ndi mawonekedwe omwe adzaperekedwa kwa iye popanda kukana, zomwe - ngati zichitika. - adzatsutsidwa ndi kusinthidwa m'njira yoti idzasanduka kukana ndikumupangitsa, mwachitsanzo, kudziimba mlandu. Mu maubwenzi apabanja, mnzanuyo amagwiritsa ntchito kukambirana mwamsanga, malangizo kapena kunyengerera mokakamiza (amapanga zochitika zina, mwachitsanzo, kuyenda pamodzi popanda maganizo a munthu wina) ndipo amafuna kutenga nawo mbali, pogwiritsa ntchito zonyoza pa kukana pang'ono. Amagwiritsa ntchito mawu achipongwe komanso achipongwe. Mnzake wochitiridwa chithandizo chotere amakhala ndi nkhanza zamkati chifukwa cha umunthu wake, zikhulupiriro zake komanso kudziyimira pawokha, amamva kuti akumanidwa ufulu wosankha ndi kusankha, kuchepetsedwa kukhala wozunzidwa.

III. Kukana bwenzi

Amagwiritsa ntchito machenjera ndi kukana poyera komanso popanda chikumbumtima, mosasamala kanthu za malingaliro a munthu wina. M’zokambilana zake, amacita mkangano “woona mtima wowawa,” akuika makhadi onse patebulo ndi kusasiya mau aukali. Amanena zonse mwachindunji, nthawi zambiri motere akusuntha udindo wa zochita zake kwa bwenzi lake, pokhalabe ndi chikumbumtima choyera. Malingaliro ake, ali ndi zomwe zimatchedwa "crystal character", ndiko kuti, amadziona ngati kuyenda kwangwiro, koyenera kwa munthu.

IV. Wothandizira Recidivist

Ndimakwatiwa ndi akazi (kapena amuna) kapena kukwatiwa mobwerezabwereza ndipo zimawirikiza kawiri. Izi zimachitika chifukwa cha nkhawa komanso kusafuna kukumana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi. Choncho, nthawi zambiri wokondedwa woteroyo amakana kapena amasiya maubwenzi pagawo lachitatu (werengani :), nthawi zambiri pachisanu ndi chimodzi.

V. Othandizana nawo - mnzako wochokera kumagulu ogonana

Moyo wake waumwini nthawi zambiri umatsikira ku kugonana. Ichi ndiye chidwi chake chachikulu, mtengo wake ndi cholinga chake chokha. Chidwi chake chimayang'ana pa nkhani za kugonjetsa kugonana, zongopeka komanso zokhumba. Ndiwowona mtima kwathunthu ndi mnzake, amafotokoza zomwe zidachitika m'mbuyomu ndikumupangitsa kukhala bwenzi logonana komanso zolimbikitsa zina.

VI. msungwana wachitetezo

Munthu wodziwika ndi bwenzi lamtundu uwu adzayembekezera chipulumutso ku mavuto ake onse, akuwona mwa iye yekha njira yothetsera vuto lake. Ndipo chotero, mwachitsanzo, angayang’ane mwamuna amene angam’patse lingaliro lachisungiko (mwachitsanzo, landalama), kudzaza kupanda pake kwake kapena kusungulumwa. Angathenso kufunafuna kuvomereza kwa iye, mwachitsanzo, za matenda ake, akukhulupirira kuti iyeyo sangathe kuchita izi. Angathenso kufunafuna mpumulo ku banja lake, ntchito, malo okhala, maonekedwe ake, ndi zina zotero.

VII. namwino wosamalira

Amadziwa ndipo amamva zomwe tikufuna. Nthawi zambiri amachidziwa mofulumira komanso bwino kuposa ifeyo. Amayimba foni iliyonse, amakhala wokonzeka komanso wokonzeka kuthandiza. Adzasiya ntchito zake zonse kuti akwaniritse, kukhutiritsa ndi kulungamitsa zoyembekeza za mnzake, kumupatsa chilichonse chofunikira kuti chiwononge chitonthozo chake komanso thanzi. Akhoza ngakhale kudzitaya kuti akwaniritse zofuna za mnzawo ndi banja lake. Amakhala wodzitchinjiriza mopitilira muyeso komanso wosamalira mowopsa.

XIII. Othandizana nawo m'mitambo

Adzasilira nthawi zonse wokondedwa wake, ngati kuti ndi nyenyezi yaikulu kwambiri ya kanema komanso munthu yekhayo padziko lapansi. Amakokomeza ulemu wake mpaka malire a zomwe zingatheke komanso zopanda pake, amamutenga ngati kalonga wochokera ku nthano, yemwe amafunika kulangizidwa nthawi zonse, kupereka mphatso, chidwi ndi kuyamika. Kuchokera kwa anthu ena, sakufuna kumva mawu oipa onena za iye, ndipo akawamva, adzawanyalanyaza, osawakhulupirira ndipo amangowakana. Amanyalanyaza ndikutsutsa mfundo zosasangalatsa zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi chithunzi chake cha bwenzi labwino.

IX. Kalonga (kalonga) ndi chule

Munthu woteroyo ndi kudzidalira kwake ndi chisangalalo zimadalira kwathunthu kalonga, yemwe ndi kupsompsona kumodzi akhoza kumutembenuza kuchokera ku chule kukhala mwana wamfumu. Amakhulupirira kuti pafupi ndi iye adzatha kuchita bwino ndikukhala mkazi weniweni, wokwanira komanso wokwanira - izi zisanachitike, mbewa imvi. Amakhudzidwa ndi chikoka chake, amadalira chidwi ndi kuyamikiridwa. Amamva kuopsezedwa nthawi zonse ndi akazi ena, podziwa kuti ngati amutaya, adzakhalanso mtsikana wopanda pake, kotero amakhala wansanje ndi wankhanza kwa akazi ena (kapena amuna ngati chule ndi mwamuna). Amakhala ndi kumverera kosalekeza kwakuti alibe udindo komanso wosatetezeka, ndipo amayesa kuwongolera ubale nthawi iliyonse.

X. Chirombo ... ndi chokongola

Mu kukongola, chilombochi chimafuna udindo, kutchuka, kukondedwa, kukhala wapadera komanso pamwamba pa avareji. Mkazi wochokera ku nyumba wamba akhoza kufunafuna CEO ndi chikwama chamafuta; mwamuna wopanda mwana, wokhazikika wofunafuna wosudzulidwa kapena wamasiye wokhala ndi nyumba ndi kulera ana; mtsikana wodzichepetsa wochokera kumudzi wa munthu wochezeka komanso womasuka mumzinda. Mwachidule, bwenzi lamtundu uwu limayang'ana phindu mwa munthu wina, zomwe angathe kuziyika muzitsulo zagolide zomwe zingamupatse kuwala ndi zothandiza.

Emar